What if God’s answer to your prayer is something you don’t want to do?
A while back I struggled with feeling good in my own skin. Nothing I could put my finger on, but I knew something wasn’t right. My doctor’s response was more meds. It didn’t help. So I prayed for an answer.
A gestational diabetic with three pregnancies, I had twice managed it with diet and exercise. The third time I needed insulin shots. I was so freaked out by needles that my husband had to play nurse. The day he was away on business, I was late for work trying to give myself that stick.
All that vanished when I gave birth, which I considered a bonafide miracle!
Fast forward a few years. I am following doctor’s orders but still don’t feel like myself. I drove a friend to a church-sponsored health fair planning to drop her off. She asked me to stay. A panel discussion that included an endocrinologist presented new treatment options for a variety of conditions. I decided it was time to engage a new provider.
Some months and tests later, I learned I’d been misdiagnosed. The solution to my problems turned out to be the very thing I wanted to avoid: a daily insulin shot. I was angry at God. Why did I have to do what I dreaded to receive the relief I needed?
I had to choose:
- Resist the answer to my prayers because it wasn’t the one I wanted? Or
- Surrender to what God was doing and face my fears?
I surrendered, but not without a struggle. I can’t explain why God sometimes works this way. It comes down to Sovereignty. God is God. He does whatever He pleases. It pleases Him to do us good even when it doesn’t seem good. Proper treatment would improve my health. It simply wasn’t the treatment I wanted. Frankly, it still isn’t.
In a moment of retrospection not overshadowed by hysterical emotion, I was reminded that God causes everything to work together for good to those who love Him. So I looked for the “good” in the expense, inconvenience and daily discipline required to manage insulin-dependent diabetes. Knowing the truth about how to maintain my health is a good, freeing thing.
We buried my mother 9 years ago this May. She spent her last years in a nursing home after diabetic complications resulted in a below-the-knee leg amputation. Fiercely independent, she was diminished by having to leave home once she lost a leg. I’ve wondered how much she really knew about how to manage her condition and the difference it might have made.
I don’t know what you’re asking God, but don’t be surprised if His answer includes the thing you don’t want, don’t like or have declared you won’t do. God is about truth. Accepting an inconvenient truth can be humbling, making us more dependent on Him. That is always a good thing.
God’s ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. Yet, all His ways are right. If we truly believe those things, we must leave all options on the table for God to choose. We can accept His decision as what’s best, knowing that God is for us!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek His will in all you do,
and He will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT)